Learning When to Fold

Friday, Oct. 21, 2005 ~ 1:00 p.m.

I've been doing a little reflecting on some things. There is stuff in my life that just makes my stomach roll, stresses me out so badly that I have to go to bed with headaches, makes me cry. I am working now on recognizing that I must accept the things that I cannot change. There are things that make me think to be angry, but I realize I have no right to be angry and then resort to feeling totally defeated. I've decided now to just accept. The wash of emotion from anger and defeat is just entirely too draining to abide. I'm just going to keep on being the best damned friend that I can, continue to strive for peace within myself at all costs. That's all the thought I've been doing the last few days. I'm warning you now that the rest of this entry is going to be fluff.

I've been spending a lot of time with Aadon this week, it seems like. Sunday night, we went swimming, I went to the barn and lunch with him on Monday morning, and then yesterday I watched him while Nicole and "Brother" (Alex) had dentist's appointments. He'll be three in January, but he doesn't talk a lot -- he just goes "ahhh." when you talk to him, or "ahh?" alternately. Occasionally, he'll say "Mamma" and he's started calling me "Ananana" - he says "Daddy" clear as a bell, "Come here!", "Aw, cute!", "Dekker" (his dog's name, coincidentally, EVERY dog is now "Dekker"), "Aw, kitty!", etc. Still, amongst all of those clear words, there is a lot of babbling and unclear wording. He still is not speaking as much as Nicole thinks he ought to and yesterday when we were in the car, she said "Maybe he does know how to talk, he's just not."

I laughed it off, until I realized she was probably right. Aadon and I were sitting in the car waiting for Nicole to get Alex and he started to fuss a little, so I took a video of him with my cell phone -- he's a total ham so he loves having his photo taken. Anyhow, I took the video, and then he turned the phone around to look and pressed the button to start the video playing. He laughed, and said, clear as a bell -- "I did it, Baby!"

Now, I know some people sometimes imagine things that babies say amongst the gibberish that they speak, or have to decipher what kids are saying, but there was no doubt in my mind that he said "I did it, Baby!" and that's what he meant. And try as I might, I couldn't get him to say anything except "Ananana" whispered on a video after that, no matter how hard I tried.

As a side note, I am SOOO lucky. I saw the elusive Casey LeBlanc (from Top 5 Canadian Idol fame!) at the petstore yesterday. Ohmigawd, ohmigawd, ohmigawd, she even LOOKED AT ME! *swoons and faints*